I’ll be honest readers, looking over the past few months (years, really) of blog posts is painful for me. My posting schedule, which is supposed to be three times a week, has been sporadic at best and nearly non-existent at worst. Oh sure, there are reasons for that – from struggling with the demands of a fast-paced, high-intensity job to getting married to picking up work as a freelance editor – but it’s not just the external stuff that’s been getting in my way. A lot of it has been me.
From the beginning, I’ve compared this humble little site to the blogs that I’ve predominately followed – all of which have been around for years and are of the lifestyle variety. On its face, there’s nothing really wrong with this – these types of blogs do serve a purpose – but, in hindsight, they didn’t ultimately do anything for me. Instead of drawing inspiration from their posts, I often beat myself up for not having a site that was as glitzy as theirs or for not staying up into the wee hours of the morning like they did to juggle the demands of a 9-to-5 office job with the all of the things that I wanted to do here.
It was a vicious cycle. I would find myself with months of content planned and then lose all motivation to do any of the posts I had been thinking about because I was so sure that they wouldn’t look “right.” I would miss a few posts and then decide it would be better to “start fresh” at the beginning of the week or month or year, which is what led to my completely haphazard schedule.
Then, a little less than two weeks ago, things started to change. I stumbled upon a Reddit-like comment board that was completely savaging the main lifestyle blog that I followed, and for whatever reason, their snarky remarks broke the site’s hold on me. I finally realized how toxic my relationship with it was and quit my daily morning reads cold turkey. I unfollowed the blog’s social media accounts and felt, well, free. It’s a weird feeling to realize you’ve given this inanimate thing such control over you, but hey, acknowledging the problem is step one, right?!
Of course, simply not following this blog anymore isn’t the answer to all of the various things I’ve been struggling with over the past few years, but it has been amazing to see the change now that I’m no longer holding it up as the standard.
In addition to having more time to explore the vast range of geekynerdy blogs that are out there, my passion for my own musings is returning. I’m not really questioning my “geek cred” either, which was another pernicious part of this problem. Instead, I am doing things like reading the entire Dystopian YA Novel Twitter account from the beginning and loving every minute out it. I am rebuilding my calendar with all of the posts I’ve wanted to do, but told myself I had “missed the window” for. I’m even considering becoming an officer for my local chapter of Geek Girls Brunch. And you know what, it’s been so reaffirming!! I really truly am a geekynerdy girl. I just forgot that for a moment.